


graceless nights

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 22:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11746131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Her first knock goes unanswered.But it doesn't stay that way for long.





	graceless nights

**Author's Note:**

> theragingthespian.tumblr.com

Her first knock goes unanswered.

Standing there in the dark, barely any sounds coming from the apartment, Kara wonders if she should turn around. She had been passed through the lobby easily, the guard barely looking her way before waving a hand at her, but that doesn’t mean she’s wanted here.

That doesn’t mean Lena will open her door.

(Lena deals with- what is this? Reality? Tragedy? A terrifying mix that leaves her hands grasping for something to do and coming up empty- differently. 

But then she thinks of a hand gripping hers tightly and the barest whisper of _promise_?)

Kara raises her hand to knock again, but then the door’s opening a fraction and Lena’s resting her head on the frame while looking everywhere but at her.

“Hi. I was- I was in the neighborhood and-” She stops. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. But Lena’s hunched over looking so, so small, and she knows she heard the shaky exhale of a sob, the quick way Lena sucked in a breath before opening the door. There’s a fast pulse in her ears, and she can’t tell if it’s Lena’s or hers. “You probably don’t want to see me.” That slips out, hurts in a way she didn’t expect, but it’s _true_. “Anyone,” she amends, more for herself but it doesn’t take away the sting, “but I just- are you okay?”

Lena’s hand falls away from the door, going out of the way to brush against hers. It’s a gesture that has her blinking past the burn in her eyes. She’s been worried since Lena cancelled their lunch date for today, since Jess said Lena didn’t come into work and here Lena is, reaching out and offering her a small comfort.

She grabs Lena’s hand before it falls back to her side, light and easy in case it’s too much, but Lena squeezes her hand and pulls her inside. “You’re always welcome here,” she murmurs.

“I wasn’t sure.” Kara follows her into the kitchen after kicking off her shoes, smiles brightly at the puff of laughter she gets once Lena sees her socks. “You didn’t answer your phone.” She keeps her tone soft, thumb pressed to Lena’s wrist to keep contact.

“I turned it off. It kept ringing.”

Of course everyone would be wanting Lena Luthor’s opinion on her brother’s first year in jail. Headlines splashed with _year one and onwards_ and _two out of three ~~ain’t~~ (are) bad_ as if they’re waiting for Lena to finally profess some secret plan in the making, to align herself with the Luthors in something more than name. 

“Do you,” she yanks down on the end of her shirt with her free hand, winces when she hears the threads fray, “do you want to talk about it?”

Lena freezes, hand falling away from hers and turning fully away. It feels like pulling away in more ways than one as Lena steps carefully away from her. “No.”

“That’s okay.” She’s not good at this, not good at giving time and space. She _hates_ that. She’s had enough of it, but this is _different_. This is Lena, Lena who’s hurting and closing off and-

She doesn’t feel much like a hero right now. 

Kara keeps the distance but makes sure to tread after Lena as she moves about the apartment, Lena needlessly rearranging knit knacks that are more hers than Lena’s. When Lena finally comes to a stop, facing the long windows as moonlight pours through, Kara comes up to her side, can’t help but add, “I’m here though, if you do want to talk.”

“I don’t know how to feel.”

“There’s not any rules to it.” Kara brushes her hand over Lena’s shoulder, curls around it more firmly when Lena presses against her side.

“I know. But.” Lena presses her face into her shirt, takes in an unsteady breath. Kara cups the back of her head, threading her fingers through her hair and feels hands clutch at her back. “Some people are just bad. I keep thinking that, but I,” Lena shakes her head, “he wasn’t always. I have all these memories that- they don’t add up Kara, to what he is now. What he’s become.”

Kara drops her head against Lena’s, swallows thickly, because oh, her stomach twists. Hot and sharp, it steals her breath away. She just wants to hide them away until everything has calmed down, until the world stops being unfair and cold.

(She thinks of Krypton.

Of years, fingers wrapped tightly around her mother’s necklace while thinking, _knowing_ they were good people. 

Until she learns about her mother’s deception, about her knowledge that their world- their _home_ , and oh, that’s what burns the most, sears her heart at the very thought- was ending and did _nothing_.

Until she learns that her father created the virus, wanted to destroy people’s bodies from the inside out. Anyone _different_.

Until her memories become tainted and the world isn’t so black and white and she wants to beg to be allowed to have one thing. One thing that isn’t taken and mangled and returned to her unrecognizable.

One thing. That’s all she asks.)

“I’m sorry.” She whispers it against dark hair, presses her lips against Lena’s temple as she drags her fingers up and down Lena’s back. It does nothing, but it’s all she can offer and from the way Lena breathes a _I know_ in her ear, it’s still welcomed.

Lena’s grasp doesn’t loosen, but she feels when Lena slips away, body going slack against her own. When Lena simply stares as it becomes too much and retreats, closing off. Kara keeps her motions constant, thumb rubbing at the space between her shoulder blades and hums.

“Do you want to go to bed?” She doesn’t get an answer, doesn’t expect one except for the quick tap of a finger at the back of her neck. It’s easy to scoop Lena up, something she can _do_ when everything else feels so unattainable. 

It’s one thing for her to realize her parents weren’t perfect after the fact. When nothing can be said or done.

It’s another to watch it happen. For Lena to see it happen and wonder when the turning point was. Or maybe not realizing until it was too late. 

No one deserves that. To be left thinking they could have done more.

(There are times- late at night, when she’s alone with nothing but the stars- when she thinks of Astra.

When she wants to yell up at the dim lights that she was _here_. They could have had so much time if only she had known, if only she had pressed the spy beacon without the fear it’d go unanswered.

It still sits beside her bed, light angry and faint.)

Lena faces the windows when she places her down even though by the time morning comes, she’ll shuffle away from it and wince against the light shining in. Kara slips in beside of her just as Lena glances over her shoulder. “Lex used to love the stars. All the possibilities they held.” Lena laughs, one that’s short and leaves a bitter taste in Kara’s mouth. She wraps around Lena, squeezes gently and tries transferring some of her warmth.

“Your cousin was one possibility he wasn’t prepared for.” Lena waves a hand, “ _Superman_. He couldn’t have planned for that.”

(Lena says it wistfully. A clear contrast to the times she’s heard Lex say it, surrounded by cameras as his wrists were cuffed, words full of spite and venom.

Lena says it like she had when she first arrived. When she was in awe and wished so desperately his parents could see him, wished she could point and say _look, look what he accomplished without any of us_.

When she wished she could have seen who he would’ve been on Krypton.)

“You couldn’t have have done anything.” Lex wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what was to happen, she almost says, knows it will be humored with a nod as Lena tells herself everything but.

“So they say.” Lena shuffles back to her until they’re on the same pillow, fingers slipping between hers as she fixes her with a look that makes Kara think she was unexpected in Lena’s life too. “You’ll stay?” Lena asks, maintaining a neutral look that Kara’s still surprised by, but eyes soft.

(She made that promise, and it’s one she intends to keep.)

“Always.”


End file.
